It's 8:45am on a Sunday and I am about to take 15 bags of soil to the dump. Bindweed root infested soil, with all the visible roots picked out. Yesterday I began the process of excavating the area where the imaginary summerhouse will soon manifest.
Only thing in my way - The Stump.
There's a tree stump at the edge of the garden. It is quite rotten and I have been attacking it with a chisel and mallet. I do not trust myself with an axe. I know I won't be able to remove it all this way but the man bringing the stump grinder charges by diameter, so if I cap lop off three inches that's pretty good news.
Whilst chiseling away this thing crawled out. This hideous grub with front legs who made my whole body shiver with disgust whenever I looked at it. Still - ugly grubs can turn into beautiful insects, and so I left it be.
Mistake.
I kid you not, this thing is called a cockchafer larvae. Had I known what a damaging little pile of snot it was I would probably have unvegetarianly hit it with the hammer. I don't care if its adult form has cool furry antennae, it's larval form is like OMG totally retch.
Bleargh bleargh bleargh.
*shivers*
Bleargh.
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2 comments:
This is completely wrong and illegal, but if you can, just douse the stump with used motor oil (you're recycling!) and set it on fire. It helps to put the motor oil in a pop can first, then act surprised when it's flammable.
Though truthfully, I'm not sure you can get away with this in London.
No, sadly my tiny terraced street might notice, and if one fence went up in flames then the whole street would!
Naughty CD!
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