Today is the Winter Solstice, and the darkest day of the year.
I celebrated with Yorkshire Salad (chips) and something similar to a prayer but not quite.
I've been in a dark place the past few months. If a partner dumps you then you may have got boring or fat. But if your best friend of 18 years dumps you then maybe you're just awful. And if they're dumping you because they're bored of you thinking you are awful then there is no way of painting it nicely and no way out other than pretending until hopefully something real emerges.
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6 comments:
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm learning a bit about friendship myself these days.
But you are anything but boring, and I doubt you're awful, at least I've seen no evidence of awfulness. If there are indeed ghosts in your pantry, you seem to have them hidden well.
Or... possibly you're not awful, but you *are* inherently drawn to narcissistic people because you don't overwhelm them and so you're free to be as 'you' as you want to be, unrestrained... but ultimately they aren't particularly tolerant or deep, and one day you find yourself washed up on the sandbank of their hidden shallows.
Technically it's a only Yorkshire Salad if it has *gravy*. But chips will suffice.
Thanks Christina. I think it's my concerns that I might be awful that were seen as what made me awful. So I've decided to believe I'm the Queen of fucking Everything, and see how that works out.
@Stray - I do hate to be restrained...
But I tend to believe that projection of narcissism into the critical and rejecting other is a defence against true introspection. Lazy Katie Price psychology. 'You just hate me cause you're jealous'.
True. But still, there is a principle in the kind of computer programming I do called "Duck Typing". ie - if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then you can safely assume that it's a duck. :)
You're actually really cool.
Thanks. In real life I am much harder work. But who wants effortlessness? Lazy people.
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