I had my eyes open to spot instances of 'performing' my culture this week. It was hard to do. I did overhear the following walking to the station by two girls walking behind me.
"Yeah, so are you coming with me? I need help."
"So what's the dream scenario?"
"Well, a dress obviously, one that I can use for going out on a night out afterwards. Like, nice, but also smart."
"Sure, you want to be able to wear it again. So something that comes up to the knee?"
"Yeah, and won't ride up above my waist when I do the splits at the end of the night."
I spotted my values in action when I was in the supermarket queue and saw a man in front of me buying factory farmed chicken. Immediately my attention was drawn to the rest of the basket to check for what other shopping items he could have compromised on in order to spend the extra to buy some chicken that didn't live in a cramped hell, trampling over the bodies of its fallen comrades, it's feet burning from the ammonia of standing constantly in its own shit. All I saw was croissants.
I was reminded of my Sassenachitude whilst not knowing the words to Scottish folk songs which an English woman was singing to a group of confused Bengali women.
I went for coffee with some engaged colleagues. I don't understand why women are so willing to change their names when they get married. I find it bizarre. People sometimes say that the first thing a single woman does when she meets a guy she likes is try out his surname. Categorically - no. I've always seen the first and only point of marriage to be saying 'I'm in it for the long haul'. That and getting a dog. But each to their own - humans love a good ritual, and it's the meaning we invest which is meaningful. Married readers - tell me about your marriage stuff...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
It's hard to pin down your own culture. I'm not even going to try.
I just didn't care much about my last name, because my first name is so unique that my last name seemed not to matter as much- so I changed it. And I wonder sometimes, now that I'm a teacher and always called by my last name, if that was such a good idea.
Having got married last nine days ago, in a lovely ritual, with your sister and sister-in-law's help, I now find myself with a new Mrs Bobo.
It was I think a simple choice: I was hardly going to take her old, ex husband's name, and her family name is tarnished by her family not speaking to us.
Though now she has to wonder if people think "was she born in this county".
Though the few clients who have noticed really like it. They find it very holding to be seeing part of a husband and wife team.
When I changed my own name, from nonsense spelling Polish one to groovy Dutch one, it was a wonderful permission to express myself differently.
Hulla has just bought herself three pairs of shoes, which is different for her!
CD - I think you'd do a better job of pinning down our culture. I've just realised that your blog doesn't update via the reader anymore, and there's all these post to catch up on.
Maybe as a substitute you can just pick a new name every time, no?
McBobo - Congratulations! Ah, the traditional post-wedding shoe binge. Brings a tear to my eye...
We have, in all but real terms, taken the new joint surname of 'Penguin-Smyth'.
It was going to just be Penguin, on account of how they make life-long same-sex partnerships in which they bring up abandoned chicklets.
But then Ms Melancholy tried it with Doctor. And decided that 'Doctor Penguin' lacked a certain gravitas. 'Doctor Penguin-Smyth' on the other hand... well, you're not going to doubt their credentials!
Stray, Mrs Bobo suggested that Dr Penguin Smyth sounded like a Tory MPs name, so perhaps a rethink I'd in order?
My parents missed the seminar on not giving children tragically alliterative names, so I was happy to take Jason's, provided I never go by my middle name and bring us full circle. Unfortunately, this has made my already long name longer. This was a bit of an issue in grade school when all of my Scantron tests came back with the name LAST NAME, CHRIST because I had more letters than boxes.
I hyphenated my name. I was 29 when we married, and I couldn't stand to part with my surname. Of course, now my last name is multi-ethnic, and people seem to love saying it out loud.
Post a Comment