On Kylie

I love Kylie Minogue. I never liked her during the first flush of Kylie and Jason fever, it happened because of a mixtape with What Do I Have to Do on it, and I've loved her ever since.

There are three myths about Kylie which piss me off.

Myth 1. Kylie's career was resurrected by her getting her arse out for the lads.
Fact: Kylie's arse has been on show since Better the Devil/Step Back in Time. There was always arse, and sometimes a bit more. That the press suddenly became captivated by her bum is neither here nor there. The woman always wore hot pants.




Myth 2. Kylie is not complex.
Fact: Kylie began as a bit of a musical puppet, and her fight for control over her musical and public identity was hard won. She worked tirelessly. She was feted and then cast aside, a poster-girl for a time and place which others wanted to pretend they'd never been a part of. During the period of greatest rejection by the public and music industry Kylie skinned her head and went on a road trip round the USA. From this point of near-universal derision, Kylie made an amazing step. She saw the problems, she saw what others were doing, she reviewed her past and she accepted it all. If you go in for that sort of thing, you could say that she reached a point of self-actualization. Kylie is in fact a person who thinks and think and thinks, and is aware of how her self-awareness becomes problematic for her.

In the video for Did It Again Kylie's different incarnations have a bust-up, as she tells herself off for over-thinking. For me, this was the point where Kylie's historical debts to Madonna (Myth 3) became meaningless and the student could beat the master. Because Madonna can't do humour. She makes a good straight man and can afford the best comedy, but funny and charmingly goofy are not qualities she exudes.

My final praise of Kylie is that everyone says she is a true professional and not a cow, and she inspired young women to check their breasts.

The end.

Oh yeah! Not the end. My anecdote. I forgot the anecdote. Anyway, I listed a Kylie poster on a recycling site and some guy got there first and having got off the phone I decided he didn't seem to want the poster enough given that other people were really disappointed, so I phoned him back to question whether my Kylie poster was going to get a good enough home, but it turned out it's not for him it's for someone who really loves Kylie, even more than I do, so I'm really pleased.